I Am Not Christian. I Am Christlike.

August 1, 2021

I walked into the emergency room an agnostic.

It started in July as back pain. My workouts were becoming more labored. My recovery time was getting longer. I was fifty-five, and I told myself I was just getting older.

I was not getting older. I had survived not one but two massive heart attacks — on separate days — without ever falling down, without an ambulance, without losing consciousness. A 1.44% chance of living.

I walked in complaining about my back. The next thing I knew I was being rushed into the OR for emergency angioplasty with a 100% blockage of my widow maker artery.

A heart so under attack that the doctors said,
“You should not have survived this.”

I did not walk in with faith. I began this journey as an agnostic, because after the foreclosure disaster of 2008–2010 that devastated me financially, I threw Him out of our house. How could He let this happen to me? I thought I was a good person.

If you have ever asked that question, this testimony was written for you.

The Sign Was Already There

One stent became two.
Two became three.

I did not learn what they had actually put in my chest until later, reading my own medical records.

33.3mm

Thirty-three — the age of Jesus when He said, “It is finished.”
Three — echoing the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Long before I understood the meaning.

My sign was already there.
He wrapped my heart in a flag of mercy and His grace.
I just didn’t know it yet.

The Five Years That Followed

That was only the beginning.

Six hospital visits. Heart trauma. AFib. An ablation. Autonomic nervous system dysregulation that put my body in complete fight or flight. The stripping of everything I leaned on. The collapse of every false identity I ever held.

I fought the protocols. I documented everything. I was sent home from the ER three times before I stood firm and said, “I’m here for a second opinion.” That decision led to the ablation. The ablation led to peace — literally, in my heart.

And at the end of it, my cardiologist called and said: “We are done here. Nothing else to do.” The surgery I was told I would need — no longer needed.

This is not luck. This is not endurance.
This is not positive thinking. This is not human resilience.
This could only be God.

“I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.” — Psalm 118:17, KJV

I did not die. I live.

I am not special.

Intimacy with God is not reserved for the perfect. It is reserved for anyone who comes to Him exactly as they are — broken, feeling unredeemable, or like me, not even sure He was there.

He pursued me before I pursued Him.

I thank Him for that every day in prayer. Thank You for pursuing me before I pursued You.

“Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 · KJV

The same God of Abraham and Isaac is alive today — still manifesting, still creating miracles, still answering prayers. This testimony exists so you can be still and know He is God.

I Am Not Christian. I Am Christlike. A Testimony of Christlike Embodiment, by L. Rodriguez

The Testimony

Read it. Listen to it.
At the same time.

“Freely ye have received, freely give.”

The full book and four hours of audio in my own voice. Nothing edited. Nothing performed. No cost, no sign-up, no email. Read it at your pace, or sit down and let it wash over you — book open and audio playing. That is how it was recorded, and that is how it is meant to be received.

Download the book — free Download the audio — free

Shared freely. Not for sale. Not to be altered. Share it in its entirety with anyone the Holy Spirit leads you to.

If you want a physical copy to hold, mark up, and carry, it is available in print.

I walked into the emergency room an agnostic.

One stent became two.Two became three.

That was only the beginning.

I am not special.

Read it. Listen to it.At the same time.

One stent became two.
Two became three.

Read it. Listen to it.
At the same time.